Sunday, October 15, 2006

If You Don't Know Him By Now


You will never never never know him.

To some people Clay has become a sporting event. There are uniforms, clubhouses for the various teams, referees, cheerleaders and people who keep score. There are spies, moles, reporters, refugees, dissidents, agitators, propogandists, profiteers, saviors and martyrs. Quite a combination and all because of one Clay Aiken that has brought together probably one of the most diverse fandoms in history.

Each faction has a goal to achieve and not all of them are altruistic and honorable. Rivalries flourish, skirmishes are common, points are scored, and the only one who loses is Clay. Ironic, eh?

At first when Clay gained fame through a TV talent show and people became interested in who he is and what makes him tick, they were treated to an innocent guy who was open about everything that was asked of him. What a difference a few years of maturity, experience and disillusion has made. Sure he has fame and fortune and possibly even joy and artistic fulfillment, but there is sadness too, I think.

I will never understand why people can call themselves fans while actively working to disseminate a false image of who Clay really is. Some people set impossible to meet expectations that Clay could not possibly fulfill. Expectations based on their own ideas of who he is or things he may have said that were taken way too far. Yes he has his faith but he will never be Jesus. He won't grow wings and he can't be perfect no matter how much he'd like to try.

He will never be your boyfriend, lover, husband or best friend. If you have the opportunity to meet him, you can expect a polite greeting and maybe an autograph. That's it. All other expectations or disappointments are not his responsibility. If you have done volunteer work for one of his charitable projects, then the satisfaction of the giving should be enough. You're doing it for the children, after all, not for Clay, and if you're doing it for special attention from Clay then you need to re-examine your own motives and sincerity.

Clay's musical direction is his to determine. He will choose to sing or write what expresses him and if you don't care for what he has to offer, please move along to an artist who gives you what you need. Spending time and energy trying to convince anyone that he isn't what you think he should be is really tiresome to witness and difficult to tolerate. It's like farting in a small room. Repeatedly. Yea, don't do that. The fans don't care how smart or superior you think you are. Just go away.

Clay has said that he loves his God, his Mamma, his friends, his dogs, his music and his fans. If you can't accept who he is, please just go away. Stop embarrassing him with your fantasies and your fiction.

If you don't know him by now, you will never never never know him. Hear him, and if you don't like what you hear, please just drift away like a bad smell.


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