Friday, September 26, 2008

A little about me

When I was 18 I fell in love with a beautiful man. He had just finished his stint at the Royal Military Academy, a very prestigious military college for future officers, somewhat the equivalent of West Point.

He was a very handsome and intelligent man in perfect physical condition and as male as they come. We were besotted with each other, were married a year later and soon we had our son. As a civilian he was an actor in TV, stage and movies. About a year after our son was born, we had a wrap party at our home with the cast and crew of the movie. One of the actresses at the party approached me that night and told me that she really liked me and felt bad for me. She asked me if I knew that when my husband was going for dinner with the guys after rehearsal or the days shoot, that he was not just going for dinner with his friends but that it was candlelight, wine and roses.

I was completely floored. I had no idea, never sensed a thing to be not right in our marriage. We were not only husband and wife but we were the best of friends. We had sex and everything seemed as normal as a marriage could be. Of course at 21 I completely over-reacted and immediately felt betrayed and made a fool of. I left him, taking our son with me. I retreated to my parents home and found myself in the middle of a battle between the in-laws. His parents felt that I was too young to raise a child alone and should put my year old son up for adoption. My parents felt it was wrong to let a boy grow up knowing that his father was *gasp* gay. They all agreed that if I loved my son that I would give him to a *normal* family to grow up away from this horror show that they felt was his future.

I eventually caved in for the sake of giving my son a shot at a life with 2 parents and all of the advantages. Oh, what I did for love. Oh how I regret it. I lost not only my dearest friend but my son because of my not yet formed character.

Looking back, years later, I see a tragedy. If I had not come from such a closed minded society I may still be with that lovely man. I had nothing against him except my naive belief that romance is a requirement of love and that children must have the traditional family to have a happy life.

Years later I did seek out the son that I had allowed to be taken from me. He was raised with 2 parents but the love wasn't there. The father let his wife adopt a baby to make her happy. To him it was like getting her a pet. He had zero interest in my son. He was divorced with children from his first marriage. He was a total bastard. Oh my God, how that broke my heart to learn that I had made the most monumental mistake.

Anyway. The thing I want to convey is that we all do the best we can with what we are given. The inability for all involved in this mess to be loving, empathetic, tolerant, accepting, forgiving and supportive is what was wrong. The problem wasn't that my husband was gay. The problem was that he was rejected for it by everyone including me out of ignorance and an inability to accept and forgive.

Sadly, as I got older and had more experience in life I learned a lot about people. I had friends who were gay and learned that they were just people like everyone else that have hopes and dreams for a full life. The difference is that we, the straights, are not persecuted for being straight. We have all of the advantages of being the ones with "stars on thars".

I have believed that a person has the right to self-identify. I have been extremely defensive of Clay because the ones that have mocked and ridiculed him for years were wrong to do so. I will never change my mind about the assholes, including the OCers and the haters who have made fun of Clay, used him for their slash and porn fantasies and helped to fuel the militant gay factions with salacious gossip. Whether Clay was gay or not, they will never be right for how they mocked him. There is no forgiveness in me for that. Clay may be gay but he isn't that caricature of a mentally ill, sex addicted, trolling man whore that they portrayed.

Clay is a decent man. A loving father. A dear friend, A passionate humanitarian. A supremely talented singer, actor, songwriter and author. He is a loving son and a responsible citizen that loves his God and votes his conscience. Oh, and he happens to be gay.

As for my ex-husband? He committed suicide.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

He is Adorable!

Set your Tivos for Good Morning America on Thursday, Sept 25th. The promo clip said:

After all the rumors, all the tabloids, he's ready to speak. Its personal, emotional and a gift he wants to give his son.

I'm looking forward to hearing him tell his story.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Clay Aiken fits Sir Robin and Spamalot like a glove

Claymates and Clay Aiken Conquer Spamalot
By Edith Haight, Broadway Magazine

There was an invasion on Broadway this weekend, as American Idol star Clay Aiken returned to Spamalot to reprise his role as Sir Robin. Aiken first played the role last Spring, and then left for the summer. His return to the show was greeted with an outpouring of enthusiasm and accolades from fans. The most passionate Aiken fans are known as Claymates and they rival the theatre gangs of long ago.

The celebrated British actor Edmund Kean had "the Wolf Club." Kean's wolves were fans who would drink with him, and hound out theatrical rival actors with the violent tactics more commonly associated with criminal street gangs. The loyal fans of American actor Edwin Forrest and British actor William Macready fought to the literal death spurred on by their loyalty to their respective actor. The Astor Place riots were a real theatrical tragedy caused by passionate fans. Well, Clay Aiken can rest soundly at night knowing that he has his own passionate gang of theatre and Broadway fans known as Claymates, and they are ready to do battle for Clay if need be. From the moment the news of his reprise on Broadway broke, the Claymates have been out in full force supporting their Idol. Katie Holmes doesn't have fans like these. Few people do.

No worries about violence, the Claymates seem more about celebration than intimidation. Those fretting a Shubert Alley Riot with Claymates battling Ace Young Fans or Daniel Radcliffe enthusiasts will be disappointed. Looking over the sea of exuberant comments posted on, Clay Aiken's return should give all Broadway fans a reason to smile.

Spamalot is a musical-comedy that embraces the absurd and delights in the unusual. As a recording artist, Aiken clearly has the vocal capacity to interpret any number of musical roles (one fan suggested "Pippin"). That said, that Aiken has chosen to come to Broadway and return to Broadway in this comedy says a great deal for his willingness not to take himself too seriously. His fans' enthusiasm and joy in his performance suggest that Broadway should enjoy taking Clay Aiken very seriously indeed. Like Fantasia igniting The Color Purple, or Reba transforming Annie Get Your Gun!, Clay fits Sir Robin and Spamalot like a glove.

Broadway Magazine

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Live Feed from Shubert Alley

Broadway Flea Market and Grand Auction to benefit Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.

BroadwayWorldTV- Broadcast your self LIVE

Watching for Clay Aiken to make an appearance between shows.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Clay Aiken is a Natural on Broadway

Crowd Crowns King Clay

While he may be playing a “Sir” on Broadway in Spamalot, it is safe to say that he was King Clay Aiken at last night’s opening. Of course, Spamalot has an excellent new king in Michael Siberry, and an awesome Lady in that lake with Merle Dandridge too.

The new additions to the cast of Spamalot all seemed to walk on air, and this up close look at the celebratory curtain call can’t help but put a smile on your face.

American Idol star Clay Aiken is a natural on Broadway. This is the excitement that happens on those rare occasions on Broadway.

At the moment, forget Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe in Equus, and Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise and their entourage of Scientology protesters at All My Sons, or even forget Entourage’s Jeremy Piven in Speed-The-Plow, or Ace Young in Grease.

The big story on Broadway today is Clay! He is back on Broadway, and the fun has begun.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Clay It Again Spam

Spamalot producers are excited to welcome Clay Aiken back to Broadway. This ad appeared in the Sunday edition of the New York Times.

His "Triumphant Return" is to start on September 19th 2008 and promises to be another 4 months of supreme silliness. There will be much "soiling of pants" both on stage and off. Clay is packing up his family and moving on up to NYC for the duration. Everyone is hoping that Jaymes (she's a girl) Foster and Parker will make some public appearances because the fans are dying to get a look at little Parker and wish to congratulate the new parents on their bundle of joy.

The following video clip is kind of prophetic. Clay sang a few TV Theme songs as part of the fun on last year's summer tour.

So, Welcome Back to NYC Clay, and we hope that you and your family enjoy your stay "in that dee-luxe apartment in the sky"


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Clay Aiken: Teams up

Clay Aiken: Teams up With UNICEF and Malaria No More to defeat malaria, a completely preventable disease that still kills one child every 30 seconds worlwide. But as UNICEF Ambassador Clay Aiken puts it in this short video, "It doesn't have to be this way.". He urges everyone to "give the gift of growing up"

For a limited time, Malaria No More will match your donation in the fight against malaria, helping UNICEF save twice as many lives. To learn more, click here. Or, "give the gift of growing up" and make an online donation today.


Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Celebrity Stalkers

Why Stalkers Often Cannot Accept Reality

Dawnette Knight believed she was in love with Michael Douglas when she allegedly threatened to slice up his Oscar-winning wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and feed her to her dogs.

Neither Douglas nor Zeta-Jones had ever met Knight. She had become infatuated with Douglas after seeing him in movies such as Fatal Attraction. After reading about an alleged affair by Zeta-Jones in a supermarket tabloid, Knight sent the actress more than two dozen threatening letters and allegedly made repeated phone calls to her agents and hotels where the couple would stay.

Experts say Knight's willingness to avenge Douglas for a supposed affair by Zeta-Jones illustrates the world celebrity stalkers often create when they believe they have a real relationship with the rich and famous.

"Celebrity stalkers tend to be psychotic," said Jack Levin, professor of criminology and director of the Brudnick Center on Conflict and Violence at Northeastern University in Boston. "They often possess rich fantasy lives in which they feel personally involved [with the celebrity]. Many of the celebrity stalkers actually imagine they are having an intimate relationship with their victims."

A Reality of Their Own

Often celebrities have never had any contact with the stalkers who pursue them. Their stalkers may know them only as the character they play on stage or screen.

Experts say celebrity stalkers tend to suffer mental illness and are so disenchanted with reality, or unable to cope with reality, that they create their own. And their favorite celebrity is the center of their imagined universe.

"We don't really know an awful lot about what causes people to stalk," said Yvonne Downes, professor of criminal justice at Hilbert College in Hamburg, N.Y. "People who stalk celebrities tend to be so dissatisfied with their life — or are just so unable to cope with reality — that they create their own reality. The universe they tend to live in is an interesting one."

Besides hiring bodyguards and getting restraining orders, there is little that celebrities can do to protect themselves from stalkers. Ignoring stalkers or getting restraining orders will often just anger them.

Though men are rarely stalking victims, some people believe these cases could be under-reported and more prevalent than believed.

"Many of these stalkers often suffered a great deal as children and because of that suffering they grow up feeling a profound sense of powerlessness, So later, in their relationships with adults, they do everything they can to maximize a sense of power. They can't take no for an answer, and treat everyone as instruments, possessions and weapons."

Knight faces one stalking charge and 24 felony counts of making criminal threats for acting on an imagined relationship with Douglas. If convicted, she could face a very real sentence of up to 19 years in prison.

On March 2, 2007, Clay Aiken's stalker confessed that his story was a hoax and that the alleged encounter was a lie, but he couldn't let go of his obsession and has since relapsed. He flip flops like a flounder. One day he admits it was a lie, the next he insists that he was lying about lying but that this time he isn't lying. Honest!

You can read screen captures of his confession in the sidebar.

He is relentlessly obsessed. He continues to pursue Clay in an effort to get his attention. He continues to harass him with a daily litany of fabricated hook up stories with hundreds of men on a blog drenched in hate speech, mockery and abuse.

He has moved to within a few miles of Clay's home. He jogs and drives by Clay's house and manufactures ways to try to encounter Clay by frequenting his favorite restaurants, shopping at the same stores and even driving around Clay's mother's neighborhood in order to get a glimpse of Clay or a member of his family. He has sent Clay's mother flowers on her birthday, which must have creeped her out. He will do anything to try to have some kind of contact with something or someone close to Clay. He attended several concerts where he got as close to the stage as he could get, hoping that Clay would notice him.

He even owns several accounts on gay social networking sites where he has set up profiles that impersonate Clay in an effort to ruin his reputation and to destroy his career. He impersonates Clay on instant messages and e-mails. He sends pictures of Clay to convince people that it is really Clay they are communicating with and arranges for hookups with unsuspecting men, but then of course he doesn't show up. There are quite a few very angry gay men out there that are convinced that they had a close encounter with Clay. Sorry guys. It was just his stalker.

He thinks that if Clay were no longer a celebrity that he might have a chance to get near him. This is one very frustrated stalker. He even sold his fake encounter to the tabloids to get attention. He was hoping to go to court in a lawsuit so that he could force a situation where he could get near Clay and finally meet him.

David Letterman was stalked for years by Margaret Mary Ray. She was convinced that she was Mr.Letterman's wife and that he was sending her coded love messages through the TV screen. She killed herself in 1998

We can only hope that Clay Aiken's stalker will do the same.

This just in!

Stalker has moved on to Barak Obama. He assures his readers that Mr. Obama is a closeted homosexual, because stalker is, of course, the central clearing house and encyclopedia for all things gay [/sarcasm].

Watch your back Mr Obama, he's on your case now.